When I got pregnant with Amber I found myself too nauseous to continue with my daily sitting practice of an hour in the evening.during this time, I was able to reflect on how all of those people suffering from illness such as cancer would cope with meditation while being sick. It was incredibly difficult for me just to sit for five minutes without throwing up or thinking about throwing up how could some of those people go days? Have chemotherapy and still focus and be still?It was one of my biggest hurdles to overcome during my pregnancy and one that I failed.
Meditation wasn’t something that came easily to me.I played around with it a bit in UNI and I had some amazing results,but I didn’t attempt to incorporate it into my daily practice.Then when I travelled through India I had the opportunity to do it in a variety of cool and out there places with some freakish people,but this still wasn’t enough to coax me into taking it up daily.When I returned to Indonesia I took a Reiki course and this again brought me back to myself and I started doing it more frequently.But it was finally a trip to Yogyakarta that taught me the importance of practice.
My husband’s neighbour in Yogya was quite famous for his ability to heal.He went by the name of Mas Agus, and while he was nothing special to look at and his house was a bamboo shack at tge base of a river he was very talented at clearing all of my negative emotions and teaching me the art of meditation.
Mas Agus was a healer in the ‘kejawen’ tradition, spiritual Javanese mysticism.He could see things in other dimensions he could heal and break spells when needed.The Javanese are very big believers in ghosts and black magic and thus a career can be carved out of this line of work.But he was what we westerners would deem a White witch or warlock if you like.He would not tamper with black magic unless breaking a spell for someone as this kind of magic has dire consequences for those who cast it.
Mas Agus worked for free and any money he ever earned was through the charity of those who were grateful for his help. A significant indicator of a true healer.
On our first night together we went down to Parigntritis beach,another mystical place for the Javanese.We found a quiet spot and we sat and we breathed.After some time I felt a surge of energy pulling me down onto the ground and after probably an hour or two I experienced a huge awakening.A shift in my consciousness it was as if I’d been reborn.It was probably merely a cleansing of my chakra points,bur it was so good to feel so free,so revived and empty of negative energy.From that night onwards he told me that I had to practice sitting each night for an hour and again I’d feel a great lift in my spirit.
An hour was not exactly easy and as most beginning meditators know five minutes can feel like an hour.Slowly though I found my way.The befits I experienced from this practises were tremendous I felt a clarity in my thoughts like I’d never experienced before,I could identify my higher voice and was for a time able to communicate with the universe when asking big questions about myself.But the biggest benefit was of course the release of that stress that we experience in our jobs and day to day living.I would like to think that I was more rational and thoughtful and finally understood what it was that really matters.
What really matters is what’s important and we find ourselves so caught up in this perpetual wheel that we too often forget.A simple flower can bring us back to ourselves.The amount of money we accumulate,the holidays we take,the houses and clothes we own are all apart of this cycle we think we need,but do not.What’s important to us is love,compassion,friendship and genuine humanity.Without this we have no real existence.No real meaning and purpose.
It’s now time for me to start meditating again.Little baby Amber is now one and a half and I have the time to just sit and practise.